Kerala families often cross church lines. What the Catholic Church asks when a Catholic marries an Orthodox, Jacobite, Mar Thoma or CSI Christian, where the wedding can be held, and how to plan it.
In Kerala, Catholic, Orthodox, Jacobite, Mar Thoma and CSI Christians live side by side, share a history going back to the St Thomas Christians, and often marry each other. The Catholic Church calls this a "mixed marriage": a marriage between a Catholic and a baptised Christian of another Church. It is entirely possible. It does require some extra steps, and families who know them in advance avoid last-minute surprises.
Permission from the bishop
A Catholic who wishes to marry a baptised non-Catholic Christian needs the permission of their bishop. This is arranged through the parish priest, who sends the request to the diocese or eparchy. It is routine, but it takes time, so raise it at the very beginning of planning.
The promises
As part of this, the Catholic partner is asked to promise to remain faithful to the Catholic faith and to do all they can to have their children baptised and brought up as Catholics. The other partner is not asked to promise anything, but must be told about these promises. This is often the part families most need to talk through honestly, before the engagement.
Where the wedding can be held
Normally the wedding takes place in the Catholic partner's parish, before a Catholic priest. For a serious reason, the bishop can grant a dispensation allowing the wedding in the other partner's church. In marriages between Catholics and Orthodox Christians, the Church recognises a wedding celebrated by an Orthodox priest as valid, though the Catholic party should still have the bishop's permission. The details differ between the Latin Church and the Eastern Catholic Churches (Syro-Malabar and Syro-Malankara), so ask your own parish priest what applies to you.
What both families should talk about
- Which church the couple will attend after marriage, or whether they will attend both.
- How the children will be baptised and raised in the faith.
- How major feasts (Christmas, Easter, the parish feast) will be shared between the two families.
- Whether either family has strong expectations it has not yet said out loud.
Marrying a non-baptised partner
Marriage between a Catholic and someone who is not baptised is a different case and needs a dispensation called "disparity of cult". The process is similar, but the conversation is often deeper. Speak to your parish priest early.
Related reading: inter-rite marriage between Catholics. You can also browse Malankara Orthodox, Jacobite Syrian, Mar Thoma and CSI matrimony pages.